Sunday, June 26, 2011

Reflections and imperfections

I signed up for a "Thought for the Day " email on Oprah's site a while back.  I enjoy reading inspirational or thought provoking statements especially when they seem to cosmically connect to how I am currently feeling.  Friday was one of those days!  Here is the thought for the day I received in my email:

"I no longer look at every reflection of myself and see a map of disappointments. I see vigor, curves and force, an organic tumble of sensual, sexual energy. I stand straighter. I breathe deeper. My heart opens."
—  Lise Funderburg 

The portion of this quote that stuck a chord with me had nothing to do with sensual, sexual energy, it was the powerful statement; "I no longer look at every reflection of myself and see a map of disappointments. I see vigor curves and force."  I realized I am now living this quote and I am so proud of myself and my journey!  I AM a woman who is still curvy but I am also full of vigor.   I hope I have become a force which will help others find their way and see their reflection in a positive way over looking the imperfections we all tend to focus on.

Imperfect also spells I'm perfect!

I looked in the mirror and smiled.  I am standing straighter and my heart is joyful!  I love my curves!  Watch me  :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

What the scale can't do!

A scale is a tool or instrument that measures the weight of an object or person placed on its weighing platform.  It can give you your weight at that moment in time in that position.  Did you know if you step off some scales and then get immediately back on you may not get the exact same weight that you just weighed?  Did you know that scales must be calibrated regularly in order to be assured the number they give you is correct?  Did you know the surface the scale sits on can affect the way the scale weighs you and may give you an artificially low weight or, God forbid, an incorrectly high weight? 

I have learned far too much about scales in the process of my weight loss journey.  I know I still don't like stepping on them and the process of weighing still makes me feel small and insignificant.  I also know the scale has no idea of how my day has gone or the week or even the month.  It has no understanding of how it makes me feel every time I step on to it's platform.  I sure wish I could kick it hard, really hard sometimes but the scale wouldn't feel that anymore than it would feel the joy I have when I see a weight I am pleased with.  Why then have I let this cold, inanimate object become so powerful in my life?  It knows NOTHING about who I am or what I have gone through to get to where I am today.  I certainly am far more powerful than a number reflected by a piece of equipment!  I have family and friends who love me just the way I am with all of my quirks and imperfections.  I am strong and healthy.  I have inner resources I never knew existed and I am braver and more courageous than I ever imagined.  The scale can't tell me anything about who I am; who I have become.

Yesterday I typed "you are beautiful" into Google and hit search.  I smiled as I opened the first hit that I clicked on.  I am sharing it here:

Get Off the Scale
You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!
-Steve Maraboli
Quit giving the scale so much power!  Don't let the number on the scale tell you who you are!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Greeting Cards

I was in Target this afternoon waiting for a prescription to be filled and killing time.  I looked at all of the baby things, because that is what you do when you are going to be a Grandma, but I didn't buy anything (sorry Megan).  I wandered around in Housewares and looked at lamps and then found myself standing at the greeting cards.  I needed to pick up a card for my mother in law's birthday and for Father's Day so I got busy looking at cards in the birthday section.  It didn't take long to find an appropriate card for my awesome mother in law and so I moved on to Father's Day cards and began looking for a great one for my father in law.  I picked up one or two that just weren't quite right and then stepped back and scanned the rows for more cards.  I reached for one that held promise when I got sucker punched by the card immediately to the right of the one I was reaching for.  It said, " To Dad from Your Daughter."  My Dad will not be here this year for Father's Day and he won't be here next year or the next and he will miss his wedding anniversary and his great grandchild's birth, and lots of family celebrations yet to come.  My dad died September 27th. 

I thought for a minute about picking out a great card for him and taking it to the place where we scattered his ashes or even putting it with the ashes I kept but decided against it.  I decided to share some things about my Dad here instead.

My dad was a Presbyterian minister who loved teaching Christianity by the way he lived.  He loved my mom with his whole heart even though he once told me, "it takes a lot of patience."  He was an awesome father to my three younger brothers and me.  We went on month long camping trips every summer in a pop up camper and the four kids slept on bunk beds made out of aluminum cots (yep, it worked).  We saw lots of the country, slid down the sand dunes, took every free factory tour available, occasionally tied one of the boys to a tree to keep him from wandering off, and played for hours at the beach.  We all learned to ride bikes and drive cars and even to parallel park with Dad in the passenger seat.  He could fix anything from holes in live Christmas trees to broken hearts.  He rejoiced with every success we had and comforted us and showed us the way when we stumbled or when we failed.  He attended baseball games, diving meets, school plays, band concerts and science fairs.   He was a GREAT father.  He preformed the marriage ceremonies for my brothers but was just MY dad when I was married which was exactly what I wanted!  He taught my brothers how to be fathers by his example, and they are great fathers.  He baptized each of his grandchildren and got choked up with emotion as he did so but this is what he did anytime he baptized a baby.  He played with his grandchildren, taught them how to carve pumpkins, clean up the kitchen as you go when cooking, and how to cheat playing Boggle.  He took them to the circus, rocked them when they had an ear infection and told them exaggerated stories about their parents.  He married my daughter, his first Grandchild, and he cried.  He taught us all how to die and we cried.

I decided I don't need a card to tell him how much I loved him, how much we loved him; he knows.  Each of us is who we are because of the example he led.  June 19th is Father's Day this year.  I think I will bake a chocolate cake with penuche icing (his favorite) and take a piece to my mom and we can talk about how much he would have enjoyed it.

Happy Father's Day Dad, I miss you!!