The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be…because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap!
~ Mary Anne Radmacher
Monday, November 8, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Stumbling
At long last Fall has arrived in South Carolina. The days are shorter, the leaves have been painted glorious shades of reds, oranges and yellows and the air is cool and crisp. My friends who have never lived north of the Mason Dixon line are complaining about how cold it is and can even be spotted wearing winter coats and gloves. Come on people it is only in the mid 40s to 50s! I love this weather!
I saw a post yesterday proclaiming that since Halloween is over the "60 days of eating" have begun. I am terrified! I weighed in at Weight Watchers in October and was 4 pounds above my goal weight. I paid my $13 and thought to myself this was understandable because I had just been through my father's death. I was not concerned. I know what to do, I just needed to pull the reigns back a bit and the weight would come off but along came Halloween.
I really don't care much about Halloween since I no longer have young children in my house nor are there many young children in my neighborhood but I bought candy anyway. I do have a Water Aerobics class I teach and I thought I would make them treat bags but class was canceled on the Friday of Halloween week so I now have candy. I did not take the advice I offered at my WW meeting on Saturday where I said buy candy you don't like, I bought candy I love. So knowing I need to weigh in at WW the first Saturday in November and that I was already 4 pounds above my goal weight I sat and ate way too much candy. To tell the truth, I enjoyed the candy and could have had it and stayed within my points limit with WW but I ate mindlessly. Mindless eating is never a good thing.
Reflecting on why I ate the candy I realized I am frustrated, disappointed and even angry about my recent injury to my foot which resulted in my foot now being in a boot for three weeks. I am training to walk a half marathon December 11th which is six weeks away and while I did not start my training with the assurance I wanted to do this event I was just finding my Mojo again and was looking forward to the challenge. The realization that the half marathon was most likely over for me sent me running to my dearest friend, chocolate, and so I ate.
I follow a blog entitled "Thighs and Offerings." Kate, the author talks a lot about her self proclaimed eating disorder and it seems as though she is also experiencing similar issues with food right now. I wonder if it is a Fall thing. Her description of a weakness for Pumpkin Scones goes like this: "A pumpkin scone has been far more to me than an acquaintance, and far less than a friend. Truth be told, the role it has played in my life has been that of, I don't know, a lover, an ex-boyfriend you can't quite shake, who you keep seeing and who you keep letting in and who keeps breaking your heart." And so it is for me and mindless eating especially anything chocolate. I keep revisiting the same habits that cause me to eat mindlessly and find myself sad and disappointed.
So I now face the "60 days of eating" with open eyes and reclaimed determination. I know what to do and how to do it. I am digging deep and paying attention to feelings as well as appetite and asking myself what are you really hungry for before I go to the kitchen looking for answers. I have made a plan to get myself back on track and will weigh in at WW on Saturday even if I am still up a bit and I will be fine. I know now I needed to shout "Hill Warning" at the top of my lungs before I picked up the bag of candy at the store and so I will say it now and repeat it over and over again until I remember what I said in my first post: "Life is full of "hill warnings." They are the challenges you face every day that cause you to pause and evaluate. Beating the hill is about good preparation, believing in your abilities, having faith and plain old determination. I now know I will not be afraid to face the hill and climb it. I may be slow, I may reach the other side a bit beaten up but as long as I am upright and breathing as I reach level ground I will be just fine!"
Today I ate a great breakfast and then put on my boot and walked to the polls to vote. I wasn't fast nor was it pain free but I walked and it felt glorious!
I saw a post yesterday proclaiming that since Halloween is over the "60 days of eating" have begun. I am terrified! I weighed in at Weight Watchers in October and was 4 pounds above my goal weight. I paid my $13 and thought to myself this was understandable because I had just been through my father's death. I was not concerned. I know what to do, I just needed to pull the reigns back a bit and the weight would come off but along came Halloween.
I really don't care much about Halloween since I no longer have young children in my house nor are there many young children in my neighborhood but I bought candy anyway. I do have a Water Aerobics class I teach and I thought I would make them treat bags but class was canceled on the Friday of Halloween week so I now have candy. I did not take the advice I offered at my WW meeting on Saturday where I said buy candy you don't like, I bought candy I love. So knowing I need to weigh in at WW the first Saturday in November and that I was already 4 pounds above my goal weight I sat and ate way too much candy. To tell the truth, I enjoyed the candy and could have had it and stayed within my points limit with WW but I ate mindlessly. Mindless eating is never a good thing.
Reflecting on why I ate the candy I realized I am frustrated, disappointed and even angry about my recent injury to my foot which resulted in my foot now being in a boot for three weeks. I am training to walk a half marathon December 11th which is six weeks away and while I did not start my training with the assurance I wanted to do this event I was just finding my Mojo again and was looking forward to the challenge. The realization that the half marathon was most likely over for me sent me running to my dearest friend, chocolate, and so I ate.
I follow a blog entitled "Thighs and Offerings." Kate, the author talks a lot about her self proclaimed eating disorder and it seems as though she is also experiencing similar issues with food right now. I wonder if it is a Fall thing. Her description of a weakness for Pumpkin Scones goes like this: "A pumpkin scone has been far more to me than an acquaintance, and far less than a friend. Truth be told, the role it has played in my life has been that of, I don't know, a lover, an ex-boyfriend you can't quite shake, who you keep seeing and who you keep letting in and who keeps breaking your heart." And so it is for me and mindless eating especially anything chocolate. I keep revisiting the same habits that cause me to eat mindlessly and find myself sad and disappointed.
So I now face the "60 days of eating" with open eyes and reclaimed determination. I know what to do and how to do it. I am digging deep and paying attention to feelings as well as appetite and asking myself what are you really hungry for before I go to the kitchen looking for answers. I have made a plan to get myself back on track and will weigh in at WW on Saturday even if I am still up a bit and I will be fine. I know now I needed to shout "Hill Warning" at the top of my lungs before I picked up the bag of candy at the store and so I will say it now and repeat it over and over again until I remember what I said in my first post: "Life is full of "hill warnings." They are the challenges you face every day that cause you to pause and evaluate. Beating the hill is about good preparation, believing in your abilities, having faith and plain old determination. I now know I will not be afraid to face the hill and climb it. I may be slow, I may reach the other side a bit beaten up but as long as I am upright and breathing as I reach level ground I will be just fine!"
Today I ate a great breakfast and then put on my boot and walked to the polls to vote. I wasn't fast nor was it pain free but I walked and it felt glorious!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)