Today I want to apologize to you for the way I have treated you. I took you for granted far too long and ignored your cries for help. You tried to tell me when I had eaten too much by making me feel sick to my stomach, occasionally even to the point of vomiting. You added pound after pound of weight to my body hoping I would notice how tight my clothes were getting, but I bought bigger clothes. You tried to tell me I had put on too much weight for you to carry when my knees began to hurt and I found it was more and more difficult to run and then to even walk, but I ignored you. I made excuses to avoid going up and down the stairs and asked my family to retrieve things for me. I even managed to ignore you when my heart would race and beat irregularly; I was certain it was too much tea and so I stopped drinking tea. But then one day my eyes opened wide and looked in the mirror and looked at the number on the scale and I saw what you had been trying to tell me and we began the process of changing together. Today I want to thank you for sticking with me and helping me get my life back. It is such a gift to still be alive!
I have pounds of loose skin on my thighs and abdomen and arms. When I stand naked and look in the mirror I look like a Shar pei puppy but I am grateful! I promise I will not allow surgeons to cut you out of vanity. Many people have asked me if I am going to have plastic surgery and I always answer this way, "The surgery I need is cosmetic and is not covered by my insurance. No one can guarantee me I will wake up from the anesthesia and they can't guarantee that I won't get an infection that could cost me my life or my arm or my leg so no, I will not have any plastic surgery." Then I explain a bit further, this revelation that came to me. I have two arms that work. They bathe me and dress me and feed me. They were the arms that embraced my husband when we were pronounced husband and wife and they were the same arms that held my babies after they were born. They have extra skin but they are my arms and they are just right the way they are.
Thank you body for helping me to help myself. I promise to always do my best to care for you the way you deserve to be cared for, to respect you, and to love you even on the days I have doubts.
Here is a very moving and powerful video that is another woman's letter to her body:
Letter to my Body from Ally Marks on Vimeo.